04/04/16

My first blog post, and I’m not entirely sure what I should write about, this is a good start.

So far in my life it’s all been pretty simple, I earn money, spend it and do what I want. I’m a fast learner and have never really failed exams and find it easy to study or do coursework (saying that I have coursework to be doing right now). So, I’ve had it pretty easy so far, compared to most people these days. I’m not addicted to drugs or alcohol, I do have to occasional cigarette but who doesn’t?

The truth is, although I’ve got such an easy life at the moment, I still feel as if I’m lost in myself, I haven’t got that ‘best friend’ figure in my life that all girls seem to have. Yes I have friends, but not one can I call my best friend and for them to be my only best friend. Well I did, but it was a guy, and you can’t really talk about boobs, sex and periods with a guy. Either way, I don’t feel as if he is my best friend anymore, that all 17-year-old need in their life. He got a girlfriend and I’m sat at home writing a blog post. My friends are all moving on with their lives, having babies, getting engaged and moving out. Alll things that I’m feeling pressured to do now, (I don’t want to).

Although my 20-year-old sister still lives at home, she spends most nights with her boyfriend and works long hours, I hardly see her. So for the purposes of your imagination, I’m the only child that is living at home. It gets boring, and yes I do have a car and can go out when I want to, but that’s besides the point, it still gets lonely.

So what is happening in my life at the moment?

About a month ago my then boyfriend broke up with me, he didn’t want the commitment and didn’t feel as if he wanted to be in a relationship at that moment. Which now, I understand. He was going through some difficult exams and really needed to focus on them, whilst focusing on setting his life up and being in control of his future. Obviously I was not understanding at first, and didn’t understand fully until a couple of days ago, when I went to see him and spent about 4 hours talking in my car, in the rain.

He knows that I’ve been on two dates with a new guy that I’ve met, and although comes across jealous to me, he seems to be happy that I’m happy. The relationship that we had and still have is very close and I don’t think that the atmosphere between us could ever be less than sarcastic and just happy, I also don’t believe that any one could compare to a first love. The new guy that I’m seeing is lovely, I’m not too sure how I feel about him or the situation at the moment. I don’t want to feel like in stringing him along, but its only been a couple of dates and I could hardly say I know him. But things seem to be going well. I have one more week until I return to college after a long Easter break, And I’m totally not ready to go back.

 

 

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