What do you do when you have no idea what to do? I feel I’m just living my life, and not to the fullest, but how on earth don’t change that? 

Opportunity is something that is often found few and far between, especially an opportunity that  you’ve been longing for. I think that that is what I find difficult to come to terms with, is that when you wish for something so badly, more often than not it doesn’t succeed and come if anything. But I still have faith, still have hope and that’s what keeps me going, is that I can hope for something and whether or not it comes to be true, I still have that little bit inside that knows what I truly want. And if it doesn’t go the way that I want it, then it’s fate, it shouldn’t have happened and that’s the way it was planned out to be. 

But I can’t help but feel the upmost disappointment when something I wanted for so long doesn’t happen.. that’s probably what I’m feeling right now. I’m in a bit of a situation, and however much I wish and think about how great it would be if this situation were to turn out the way I planned it in my head, I know it won’t. 

That’s just what happens when you feel this amazing, positive feeling towards someone, with them feeling the same towards you but being in such a predicament that those feelings just need to be forgotten and lost in that moment in time, otherwise it could cause bigger problems than what it would if you forgot. I’m so desperate for this to turn out the way we hope, but it’s inevitable that it won’t, it’s pretty shit.